


Ceartas- Justice (Gaelic)

by caleprwrite



Series: Ceartas [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9883538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caleprwrite/pseuds/caleprwrite
Summary: There’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ~Maya AngelouThese words have never been more true for anyone than they are for me.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains scenes of violence and implied force. Please use caution as it can be triggering. I own no one other than the basis for the anonymous reader's experience.
> 
> Updated to reflect the AI at the compound being FRIDAY and not JARVIS. Thanks to startrek2233 for catching that! :)

Ch. 1  
There’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ~Maya Angelou

These words have never been more true for anyone than they are for me. It had been a long month, everything that could go wrong on the 8th floor in the building I call my office, did. The fax server died. The contracts for our PR firm were printed with inaccurate information. The clients from the pharmaceutical company were offended by the sexist behavior of the bosses ‘star player’. Things had started to look up when my honesty and integrity saved the account, until I was skipped over for the commission and recognition. After so much hard work and no thanks, I thought I at least deserved a night on the town, and conveniently there appeared an opportunity. 

Richard, the man I had been texting with really wanted to meet. He said all the right things and against my better judgement I agreed. Not that dating was a bad idea, but meeting up with someone for the first time at a nightclub wasn’t the safest situation. After the month I’d had it was just a matter of time before the tides would have to turn, I reasoned. Truthfully- I was burnt out, lonely, exhausted and feeling quite reckless around the edges, so I agreed. 

That evening I went home with a pep in my step, kindof like a ‘Fuck you, world’ attitude. I was going to have a few drinks, dance the night away with a good looking guy, and crawl back to my apartment for a great night’s sleep. That was the plan. Well, my plan at least. Needless to say, the evening didn’t get the memo. 

I took a cab and arrived a little early, ordering a glass of wine. I needed to unwind and it helped me get in the right headspace. The music pulsed through the club so loud I could feel the bass beating in my chest. Perfect, I thought. This will keep the conversation to a minimum. Richard hadn’t been dull, exactly, just predictable. There had been a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I silenced earlier on in the day, reasoning I deserved to have some fun on the dance floor.

He arrived just after I finished my wine and greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Easy on the eyes and friendly; it was a relief because you never really know until you meet face to face. He was tall, about 6 feet, and he had dark hair and eyes, full lips and a smile that lit up the room. It was nice to meet a man that was actually taller, since so many men had a complex about dating a woman taller than them. I had gotten used to it though, since at 5’9” it wasn’t every day I got to physically look up at a man. 

Richard ordered a whiskey and asked if I would like something, so I ordered a moscatini. After a few failed attempts at conversation due to the volume, we headed to the dance floor. The DJ was killing it and our bodies moved perfectly in sync with each other. As the evening went on, the crowd grew thicker. The heat in the club became too much and I needed to get some air, so we went out to the patio where I ran into an old friend and her sister. I introduced them all, and Richard offered to get us another round while my friend and I took a minute to catch up. 

“So, he’s hot” my friend smiled, watching him walk away. “How long have you been seeing each other?”

“We actually just met tonight. We’ve been texting all week and after the day I had today I really wanted to get out and dance.” We enjoyed small talk until Richard returned with round two. He handed me my drink and stood with his hand at the small of my back while charming my friend and her sister. His talent for saying all the right things didn’t go unnoticed, and my friend’s sister- drunk on her feet- began visibly flirting. 

“Ready to dance some more?” he asked quietly in my ear and I couldn’t resist, that’s what I was there for after all. I nodded, smiling and gulping the remainder of my drink. “Ladies, nice to meet you” he charmed as he shook hands and excused us back to the dance floor. 

The evening, the music, the liquor, it all felt perfect. We danced against the railing and before I knew it he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, slowing with the beat. A feeling of carelessness settled over my mind, numbing out anything but the music, the movement, and the feeling of his strong arms around me. As we moved together everything seemed to darken. The music changed, it began sounding muffled and fading into the background. At the same time, it was still so loud I felt the bass reverberating through me. It became difficult to support my body so I leaned further into him. It was hard to focus on anything, I was exhausted.

Richard pushed me up against the railing and his lips were on me, biting and marking my neck. His hands squeezed my upper arms and drew me further into him. My head felt heavy, neck lulling back and the pressure of his grasp became sharper. He was too rough, I wanted him to stop- I didn’t agree to him doing this but I couldn’t get the words out. The sound of the music and the smell of Richard’s cologne became stronger. The air felt thick, cologne, and whiskey on hot breath; it was all so overpowering. Somewhere deep inside my mind alarms were going off, my consciousness fighting in protest but my body wouldn’t- couldn’t obey. Keeping my eyes open and focused took too much concentration. I tried to get away from him but it was too hard to walk. The hand that had politely guided me by the small of my back earlier pulled me out of the building, possessively wrapped around my waist, his fingertips digging into my flesh. 

Outside in the street the wind blew and the cold air shocked my skin. ‘Don’t go with him!’ my consciousness screamed. I tried to say something but I couldn’t speak. My thoughts were jumbled and I couldn’t make sense of anything. 

Richard strapped me into the front seat of his car and my head fell back against the window. My body was so heavy. The street lights passed in a blur as we moved. The hum of the car and vibration of the tires on the road replaced that of the music from the club. I felt so sick, internally panicking and closed my eyes, willing myself to focus. ‘You can do this. Don’t close your eyes. Wake up!’ my mind screamed, but my eyes stayed closed. 

Ch. 2  
Everything was dark, and I felt myself spinning, floating, falling. Slowly I realized I was freezing and in bed. Dizzy and cold, I reached for my blanket but couldn’t find it. ‘Why didn’t I put on my pajamas?’ I opened my eyes expecting to awaken out of a bizarre nightmare. The room was mostly dark and I was disoriented because my bed was facing the wrong way. My window looked different from here, too. ‘Why am I so cold and where the hell is my blanket?’ I wondered, desperately trying to clear the fog in my mind. 

I didn’t recognize anything. I heard a voice, and it sent chills down my spine. Immediate panic set in and I grasped to cover myself with the sheet that was tangled around my leg. The adrenaline spike from my panic caused burning pain to shoot throughout my body in torturous waves. My throat was swollen and my neck was tender. My lip throbbed and stung. When I ran my tongue over the painful spot I tasted blood and realized it had been split open. The skin around my wrists burned and the pain between my legs caused horrific images to flood my memory. 

Weight shifted on the bed next to me. It wasn’t my bed, I wasn’t at my house and I wasn’t alone. A pleading “No!” escaped my throat in terror as I curled into myself, shaking and horrified. Again, a hand clenched my upper arm, pulling me back over to face the man next to me. He knelt down and pressed his weight onto the hand covering my throat. My eyes bulged, tears burning hot in them as I silently tried to free myself from his grasp. I couldn’t breathe and the paralyzing panic returned. 

“Ssh… be a good girl, no noise” Richard hissed and released my neck after biting my lip and licking down my jaw. I choked, gasping for air and greedily filled my lungs. He forcefully flipped me over pushing me into the bed and holding me in place with his hand between my shoulder blades. A flash of light burst in the room, once, twice. “Did you get her?” he asked, alerting me to the presence of another person in the room. 

I looked in the direction the light came from and my face was brutally forced into the mattress. Tears of fear, pain and embarrassment obscured my vision. “Please, don’t” I whimpered. 

“Let’s try this one” he said to the stranger. A hand cranked my head backward, holding me by my hair until I couldn’t move my neck. The stranger pushed a pill into my mouth and held my jaw closed while it dissolved. As he did this I saw his profile. He had a muscular neck, dark hair, sharp features and rough hands. Once the pill dissolved, the inside of my mouth went numb and I distantly heard Richard say ”Your turn.” The bed shifted again and I felt the stranger pressing against me and I heard him grunt. Searing pain tore through me again and moments later I blacked out. 

I was jarred awake by the pain of being thrown on the hard ground. Dizzy, so dizzy I retched the contents of my stomach. I was freezing and my hair was soaking wet, sticking to my face and eyes. I couldn’t move, my wrists were tied behind my back, and a damp sheet was thrown over my head and upper body obscuring my sight. “Help!” I croaked, my voice burning in my throat. “Please, someone” I tried to no avail. The ground was hard and cold, a mixture of dirt and grass. The slightest movement brought about more waves of spinning, pain and retching. I struggled against my binding until I couldn’t handle the movement anymore. I pressed my forehead into the dark ground, trying to focus on something, to find some way to stop the sickening feeling. A splitting pain tore through my head and an ear piercing sound filled my ears. I shut my eyes tight, willing the pain away with every fiber in my body. It was too intense. My breathing became shallow and my muscles weakened quickly. Everything went black. 

Ch. 3  
I awoke to the sound of a steady rhythmic beeping. I blinked my eyes open and tried to focus on my surroundings. Everything in the room looked sterile. The sky outside the window was streaked by the rays of the setting sun. My eyes trailed down my body and I realized I was in a hospital bed. An IV pumped clear liquid into my arm. I followed the line of the IV up to the bag, and recognized the abbreviation PCN- it was penicillin. Next to that was an empty bag of electrolytes, standard issue for drug and alcohol poisoning. I didn’t remember drinking anything, and I certainly never did any drugs. In fact, I couldn’t remember beyond the contract negotiation at work. ‘Where the hell am I? How did I get here?’ I tried but couldn’t remember.

My heart rate raced with the realization that I had no idea where I was or why I was there. I heard the monitor, the rate accelerating faster and faster and began gulping breaths in panic. A loud alarm went off and a woman rushed in. She injected something into my IV and watched the monitors slow. I felt my heart rate and breathing slow back to a normal pace. She looked down at me kindly, and covered my hand with her own. It was warm. 

“I’m Dr. Cho” she said softly. “You’re safe here. Try to rest.” 

“Where… I don’t…” I tried to say, but my eyes were heavy. The sedative she gave me had begun working, and I drifted into a relaxed, warm, dreamless sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes, Dr. Cho was across the room, looking at 2 x-ray films against a light panel. From what I could see, on one film the bones of a forearm showed a severe break. The next looked normal. I looked down and saw my left arm in a cast from the base of my fingers to my elbow. “My arm?” I asked, recognizing the two bones leading down to the wrist on the films. 

“Hello” Dr. Cho smiled warmly. “Are you in any pain?”

“I- I don’t think so” I answered. It was strange to be in the hospital and not know how or why I was there. I looked down again and saw my left arm in a cast. My right was mottled with bruises, but I did not feel any pain. “What did you give me?” I asked.

“Nothing since the sedative when you woke up yesterday” she replied casually, a little too casually. I wasn’t sure if I believed her at that point. I didn’t feel any pain and she didn’t seem surprised by that fact. ‘What the hell kind of hospital is this?’ I wondered, more suspicious as the minutes passed.

“You’re in a special facility” Dr. Cho answered without turning around. 

“Wait. What? You heard me?” I asked feeling suddenly confused. I hadn’t thought I’d said anything out loud. 

“Yes, and you’re correct” she replied. “I did hear you, and no, you didn’t say anything out loud. Let me properly introduce myself” she continued, coming to sit next to me. “But first, can you tell me your name?” 

“It’s (y/n)” I replied. “What’s going on? Where the hell am I?”

 

Ch. 4  
“As I said before you're safe here” the doctor began. “This isn't a regular hospital. You're at the Avengers compound in upstate New York. You've been here for four days. My name is Dr. Cho, but you can call me Helen. I've flushed your system of everything you were under when we found you in Central Park” she finished, giving you the time you needed to make sense of what she's told you so far. 

“I'm at the Avengers’ place? Why? What do you mean you found me in Central Park? What happened and why don't I remember? What was in my system? Why could you hear what I was thinking before?” I began, stopping breathlessly for air.

I was overwhelmed with questions, with not knowing what the hell had happened. I couldn't help but think this was some crazy nightmare I'd wake up from any minute. I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the pillow. After taking a deep breath I looked at Dr. Cho- Helen and simply asked, “What do we know so far? Maybe you can start me off and it will help me remember something?”

“I have another idea” she said thoughtfully. “If you don't mind, I'd like to bring someone else in.”

‘Why the hell not? I sure don't know what the fuck’s going on’ I thought sarcastically. 

“Great, I'll just call her. Give me a moment” Helen said, and I realized she’d done it again. She read my thoughts, and it didn't sit well with me. It felt intrusive and I tried not to think of anything while waiting for Helen and this other person. 

Naturally, my mind began to wander. It occurred to me that maybe Helen wasn't just a doctor, maybe she was a mind-reader too. After all, I was at the fucking Avengers facility. ‘Who knows what else is going on here…’ I silently wondered.

“She is not” a young woman with long brown hair said as she walked into my room. 

“I’m sorry?” I asked, not sure what she was referring to.

“Helen, she is not a mind-reader. I am though. Wanda Maximoff” she said, offering me her hand. I shook her hand and realized my mouth was hanging open. 

“So why can she hear me, just like you- if she can’t read minds, just like you?” I demanded. “How is it everyone here seems to know more about what’s going on with me than I do?” Helen walked back in and looked from Wanda to me. 

“I see you’ve met” Helen said, and sat next to Wanda. “Why don’t we take a moment and you tell us where you want to begin.”

I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that Helen was right. We needed to begin somewhere. “The last thing I remember. Let’s start there. I hope you two can help me fill in some of the blanks” I grumbled, mostly to Wanda. She nodded and I began. “ I was at work- Matthews Marketing Firm in the city. We had an important client come in and there were a lot of problems with the account. I had a bad day and I’d been texting with a guy for about a week. He wanted to meet so we were going to go to a club- no, wait- we did meet. I went home and changed first. I took a cab to the club. We danced, I had a few drinks. I ran into an old friend. We were going to dance more, and then I remember feeling really... exhausted and heavy, dizzy too. The next thing I remember is being here and freaking out. Helen, you gave me a shot of something? I woke up again, and you heard my thoughts, read my mind, and… that’s all I have.”

“That’s good, (y/n). That’s a good start” Helen said. “Have you ever been able to project your thoughts to others, before now at least?”

“No, never. I mean, I read about the different abilities some of you guys have, but I guess I didn’t think it was real” I said to Wanda. She smiled kindly, like this wasn’t the first time she’d been doubted. 

“Tell me, does anyone in your family have… abilities?” Wanda asked. 

I looked down at my hands, suddenly feeling very alone and unsure. “My mom was a medic in the Air Force, so we moved around a lot. She passed away from breast cancer when I was at University. I never knew anyone else in my family, she didn’t talk about them. My father died in combat before I was born.”

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). I know this is difficult. Is that everything you remember?” Helen asked. I nodded. I knew there was more. It was like searching for a word, on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t wrap my brain around it.

“I can help you remember, but I think it is best if we take that one step at a time, after we discuss how you came to be with us here” Wanda offered. I numbly agreed, nodding my head. It was exhausting, but I needed more. 

“You said someone found me in Central Park?” I pushed, growing more desperate for details.

“Yes” Wanda continued. “Some of the guys run there most mornings before sunrise. They said they saw a woman on the ground, not moving and half wrapped in a sheet.” Chills ran through my body at the thought. ‘It will be all right, you are safe here’ Wanda spoke to me silently. I looked up at her, searching her clear blue eyes. She smiled reassuringly, ‘Yes, that was me.’ 

“You were unconscious,” Helen added “cold and unclothed, so they wrapped you in the sheet and brought you immediately into the medical bay at the tower. Once I raised your body temperature and stabilized your blood pressure, you began reaching out telepathically, so we brought you here for further treatment.” 

She paused, giving me a chance to absorb everything. “You said before, I had something in my system? What was it?” I asked. 

“Your alcohol level was mildly elevated. Not enough to cause you to lose consciousness though. Some of the proteins in the serum Captain America was given in 1943 were present, but in varied strengths, along with some new compounds we’re still analyzing. In addition to that, you had Xylazine- a very powerful tranquilizer- in your system, and GHB. Do you know what that is?” Helen continued cautiously. 

“Date rape... that’s the date rape drug.” My heart began racing and a cold sweat formed on my brow and behind my neck. “A- Are you saying?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. You sustained multiple injuries. There was evidence of forced entry. I completed a rape kit to find DNA, but your body had been completely washed and your nails had been cut and cleaned.” Helen paused, gauging my reaction and looked to Wanda, who nodded for her to proceed. 

“She is very strong. I believe you can continue, Helen. Yes?” Wanda looked to me for confirmation. I nodded, numbed by what I was hearing but determined to press forward. 

Helen continued. “You also had multiple injuries to your throat, face, neck and wrists. Your left wrist was fractured in two places, but had already begun to heal. This indicated your body has advanced healing properties. This healing is stronger internally though. Usually this condition is manifested internally and externally alike, but in your case it seems to be beginning with your mind, bones and lastly superficial wounds as you can see given the bruising on your arms. Your wrist-”

“Wait- if this advanced healing is beginning with my mind, why can’t I remember what happened?” I interrupted.

“The mind is the most complex organ in the human body” Helen answered. “It is possible that you are being protected from the memory of the events, and may never fully remember... without help.”

“We will work on that when you are ready” Wanda offered, reaching out and squeezing my hand. 

“So what, in the meantime, I walk around with this untold story, a hole in my consciousness and let people hear everything I think? How am I supposed to function, and what the hell would cause something like that?” Tears were burning behind my eyelids but not from sadness. I was angry, I felt violated and consumed with the need for revenge. 

“Wanda can help you learn to control it” Helen volunteered. “She was not born this way, either. She was enhanced. I suspect you were given similar chemicals to cause the changes you’re experiencing.”

“I will help you, and you will get through this, (y/n)” Wanda consoled me. ‘We will find the people who did this to you’ she vowed with a reassuring nod.

“Thank you, thank you both.” I laid my head back onto the pillow again, closing my eyes and digesting everything I had been told. Somehow my life had taken a drastic turn. I longed for the days when my biggest problems were a faulty fax server and shitty coworkers. 

‘Rest now, I will see you tomorrow’ Wanda said silently, filling my mind with an artificial sense of peace and quiet, which I welcomed wholeheartedly.

Ch. 5  
The next day I awoke to the sound of someone setting down a tray on the counter, and the smell of freshly toasted bread. I opened my eyes and focused on the tall blond haired man with the broadest shoulders and bluest eyes I’d ever seen. He was dressed in charcoal joggers and a navy blue t-shirt. He smiled kindly, those baby blue eyes warm and friendly. “Mornin’ (y/n), I’m Steve. Just wanted to check on you and see if you were hungry” he greeted. 

“Thank you, Steve. Actually I’m starving, is that toast?” I asked. My mouth was watering at the delicious smell.

“It sure is, I’m an expert at makin’ toast” he said in a Brooklyn accent. “You really oughta try it.”

He brought me the plate and on it were to perfectly toasted squares of bread, lightly spread with butter. Real butter from the look of it. I couldn’t help but grab a piece and dig right in with an appreciative ”Mmm” as I tasted the warm bread and sweet butter. He handed me a glass of cold cranberry juice and I took a sip. The cool liquid felt so good sliding down my throat and the tart flavor gave me a small spark of energy. 

After I finished, I thanked him for the meal and looked around the room, suddenly feeling a sense of cabin fever. As if he read my mind, Steve asked, “Hey, would you like to go for a walk? I can show you around if ya want.”

I smiled at the idea. It would be nice to stretch my legs, and how often does one get to wander around at the Avengers’ place? Steve handed me a robe. I slipped it on over the soft grey scrubs I wore and stepped into the slippers by the bed. As I stood, I grabbed the strong, warm arm he offered, my head suddenly a little light on my shoulders. 

“You ok?” Steve asked as I steadied myself, concern written across his face.

“I’m okay, just haven’t been up in a while. Lead the way” I smiled up at his friendly gaze, keeping hold his arm for balance. 

As we exited the room that had been my home for the past week, I saw just how advanced the facility was. It looked like something from the future. Through the glass hallway I could see a courtyard with a paved path extending out to a landing pad which opened up to an expanse of grass. Past the grass were the woods. We continued to walk, slowly and Steve asked me about my life. 

I talked about growing up in the service, how I moved to a different country every couple of years since my mom was an Air Force medic. “I learned early on not to get attached to too many people, you just never knew when or if you’d see them again. My mom, though, she was amazing. She taught me how to splint and suture. I used to practice on my stuffed animals when I was a kid” I smiled, remembering the time I spent with her fondly. 

Steve told me about his mother, who was a nurse. Interestingly, both of our fathers had died in combat. Talking to him about my past was effortless. There was no pretense and I felt easily connected to him. We rounded the corner of the compound, and came upon a reflection pool.

“Wow, it’s beautiful, so peaceful here” I sighed as we sat.

“It is” Steve replied. “It’s a nice change from the chaos of the city. It changed so much from before. Everything now is so...” A strong sense of nostalgia filled me as flashes of memories appeared. I saw a view of the sun setting on a summer evening, skinny legs and bare feet hanging over the side of a fire escape, a tattered sketchbook filled with scenes of a time gone by. The visions were so real, it was like I could reach out and touch the graphite filled pages. Steve stopped mid-sentence and looked at me with a sense of wonder, his baby blue eyes wide. “That was…wow” he said. “I had forgotten about that book” he said, his eyes on the ground.

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t know how that happened” I blushed. “You're not upset?” 

“No, I know, you weren’t expecting that either. I heard you, your thoughts.” he chuckled and looked up, meeting my surprise. “I should get you back inside, Wanda said she was going to work with you today and see if you could remember more of what happened before I found you” he said. 

“You found me?” I asked incredulously. “Oh! …You’re Steve Rogers, aren’t you? Now it makes sense. I’m sorry, I didn’t put two and two together. That explains the memories being so, um, distant.” 

He laughed in feigned insult. “Did you just call me old?” he teased, dramatically clutching his heart with his large hands.

“No! That’s not what I meant, I- I don’t know what I meant, really” I laughed back. We sat quietly for a few minutes of comfortable silence and I felt my body relax. I took a deep breath and tried to quiet my mind, hoping the tranquility would help return some missing pieces of memories. 

“Are you enjoying the fresh air?” Steve asked breaking the silence. 

“Yes, it’s beautiful here. I’ve never been upstate before” I added. “Thanks for showing me around, Steve. It was nice to officially meet you. And thanks for finding me.” I smiled and closed my eyes.

A cold breeze rustled through the trees, making me shiver. Suddenly, I was in a dark room, struggling to breathe. There was a hand over my neck, and I was terrified. A searing pain pulsed throughout my body. “Ssh… be a good girl, no noise” I heard Richard say from above me. I smelled the whiskey and cologne. Two flashes of light. Another voice, I’m face down, being pulled back by my hair. The second man, rough and heavy. I could see the darkened features of his profile. A large hand pressed between my shoulder blades and I felt intense pain as I was violated, again.

I felt hands on my shoulders, calling my name over and over. “No!” I screamed, fighting against the hands holding me. “Please, no!” I begged and blacked out. 

Ch. 6  
Wanda was waiting next to my bed when I awakened back at the medical wing. “Hello” she said. “Do you know where you are?”

“Wanda” I smiled, her presence was calming. I looked around, recognizing the room I was in. “What happened?” I asked, and my face fell as the memories flooded back. Tears burned in my eyes and I felt a now familiar sense of panic as I relived the horror of being drugged, beaten, choked and raped. 

Wanda reached out and took my hand. “Your memories came back. I am so sorry for what you went through. Steve is leading a team to find the men that did this” she said and squeezed my hand. 

“It- it was Richard, but I don’t know who the other man is. How will anyone find them?” I sobbed. 

“Steve knows them” Wanda said flatly. “His name is not Richard, it is Grant Ward. The two of them used to be with SHIELD, but were double agents for HYDRA. The other man, his name is Brock Rumlow. The flashback you had, Steve saw it too, everything you saw, and he recognized them. We put a team together and they left about an hour ago. We will take them down, I promise” she vowed.

I felt a surge of what I can only explain as adrenaline, and was strongly compelled to get out of the bed. I had to move, there was no arguing. “I’m sorry Wanda, I have to get some air.” I pulled on my robe and slippers and made my way out the same way Steve and I had gone earlier that day. 

Wanda followed right behind me, urging me to slow down so I wouldn’t black out again. I wrapped the robe tightly around myself and headed into the fresh breeze, letting it blow my hair behind me. It felt cleansing, I imagined the fear and filth blowing off of me with it. I stopped short and shut my eyes tight, raising my chin up and took a deep breath. My body instantly felt lighter, more free and I had a precious sense of relief as the wind caressed my cheeks. 

‘(Y/N), keep your eyes closed, What are you seeing right now?’ Wanda’s soothing mind asked me from her thoughts.

‘The wind, I see it moving. Golden swirls washing over me. It’s blowing the shame and fear away. It’s cleansing me’ I answered silently.

‘I am going to take your hands, is that okay?’ Wanda asked. I reached out and felt her small hands in mine. My eyes were still closed but I felt the connection, it glowed a warm red. ‘Open your eyes’ Wanda urged. I slowly opened my eyes, and she was directly in front of me, her smile readily encouraging the connection we shared. 

As I smiled back, Wanda audibly urged, “Now look down” and I did. We must have been 25 feet in the air! My jaw dropped and I gripped her hands tightly. 

“Did I do this?” I trembled. Her smile reassured me as she nodded yes. “Can I let go?” I asked. She took her hands away, and stayed right in front of me, red magic glowing around her body. I looked down at my own and saw the hues of gold that I had envisioned cleansing me of my fear. ‘This is amazing!’ I beamed. Wanda returned my smile and silently suggested we try moving. 

Slowly, confidently I pictured my body obeying my mind. I was able to move in any direction, and the more I practiced the movement the bolder I felt. Unable to resist the curiosity, I reached out to Wanda and willed her closer to me. Her clear blue eyes sparkled as she teased “I had better be careful or I may be out of a job.” 

I reached out to her and silently asked her to help me back to the ground. She took my hand and we floated down together. Once back on the ground, I softly sank down to my knees in the grass. I reached my hands out palms down, and felt the energy in the earth. Golden waves of light rose up from the ground to my hands, and filled me with strength and confidence. It was then that I realized just how drastically my life had changed, and I never wanted it to go back to the way it had been before. 

‘Yes, I will teach you’ I heard Wanda say silently. I looked up to her and our eyes met, the sincerest of thanks I could possibly communicate to her straight from my soul.

“What’s this? Girl’s night in or something?” a man asked Wanda and I as we approached the building. He had just exited a fancy orange sports car. 

“Tony” Wanda smiled. “Come meet (y/n).” I reached out and shook his hand. He curiously eyed me and I could hear him wondering just what I was capable of. 

“I can’t even begin to tell you what I can do” I answered. “I’m still figuring that out.”

“What, you mean besides communicate telepathically, pull energy from the earth?” Tony quipped. “I’d say that’s a pretty great start, wouldn’t you?”

Wanda laughed. “I think (y/n) is my new partner-in-crime.” 

“Welp” he said, popping the “p”. “Let’s see what we have to work with” he clapped and rubbed his hands together. “Capsicle should be back before morning, maybe tomorrow we can have show and tell in the training room with Mother Earth here.” He looked at me and back at Wanda. “Get some rest” he said, “you’ll need it.”

Ch. 7  
Wanda walked me back to the medical wing, where Helen met us and scanned me with a handheld device. “You’re stable, I think you can move up to one of the guest suites tonight. There’s really no reason for you to stay here any longer. I’ll remove your cast and you can go. Are you okay with that?” she asked.

“Yes, that would be wonderful, thank you Helen. I don’t want to impose though. If I can manage a ride, I can go back to my apartment” I offered. 

“That is not a safe place yet” Wanda answered. “Until Captain Rogers brings in Ward and Rumlow, you should stay here at the compound. It will be much safer. Besides, there is an open room right across from me. I will be there if you need anything” she smiled.

I looked at the small woman, her eyes full of kindness. “Thank you Wanda, and thank you too Helen. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you guys have done for me.”

“Come now, I will show you the way” Wanda said and threaded her arm through mine. “You will love it.” 

We walked through another corridor and past some offices and conference rooms. Beyond a lobby were elevators that lead to what I was told were the communal floors. Exiting the lift there was a large living space with multiple seating areas and the largest entertainment unit I’d ever seen. Connected to that was an open concept kitchen with a peninsula with counter seating and a large informal dining area. 

“It’s fully stocked, so anything you like, please help yourself” Wanda said gesturing to the double door refrigerator, freezer and pantry. “Down the hall on the left is Clint, Natasha, Scott and Vizh. To the right is where we’ll be, also on this side are Steve and Bucky. Tony and Bruce have their labs, workshops and tech on the floor above us.”

We entered the room that would be mine, which was furnished with a large bed, dresser, sitting area and a flat screen TV. Through a door was a dressing area, closet and en suite bathroom. “There are standard issue SHIELD clothes in various sizes in the dresser, and extra linens are in the cabinet in the bathroom.” 

“Thank you Wanda, this is more than I need” I said, looking around the large space. 

“I am directly across the hall if you need me, okay?” she reassured me. “I’ll make us something to eat and I will introduce you to the rest of the team in the morning” Wanda smiled, and left me to shower and change. 

I entered the enormous bathroom and found the cabinet with towels and toiletries. Turning on the shower I reached my hand out to test the hot water. The water pressure was divine and the rainfall shower head beckoned me. I stood under the water and rubbed my left wrist where the cast has been. The bruises on my body were almost gone and I pressed my palms against the tile wall. The water ran down my back and I washed my hair and body. After showering I dressed in a black sports bra, hoodie and yoga pants, all with the SHIELD logo on them. They were remarkably comfortable and soft. I slipped on a pair of black socks and towel dried my hair before joining Wanda in the kitchen area. She had just finished serving up a delicious chicken dish with potatoes and salad. 

“Thank you, this smells delicious” I said as I joined her at the table. We ate in a comfortable silence, and my eyelids became heavy. Exhaustion from the day’s events caught up to me and I yawned loudly. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe how quickly that hit me!” I smiled. “It must have been the relaxing shower and good meal.”

After Wanda introduced me to the house AI named FRIDAY, I retired to bed. It was late but I was on edge about going to sleep. I didn’t want to have more visions of my assault. Wanda sensed my apprehension and offered to help me relax like she did the night in the medical wing. I gratefully accepted, falling into a peaceful dreamless sleep. 

Ch. 8  
The next morning I woke to the delicious aroma of fresh coffee. I stretched the length of my body in the soft bed and sat up, looking around the room. I flipped on the plasma tv across the room and crawled down to the foot of the bed. The local news station was reporting on an incident in Brooklyn where there had been a break in and later a conflict with ‘government agents’ the night before. 

I recognized the area and saw my apartment building in the background. Something soured in my stomach and a sense of dread came over me. “Steve” I whispered, wondering if his team had made it back yet. I knew I had to talk to him. I got out of bed and brushed my teeth, looking at the time it was 6:47, hopefully Wanda was awake. I looked across the hall and saw Wanda’s door open. I knocked against it as I entered her room, calling her name. ‘I'm in the kitchen’ I heard her communicate to me, and went out to the common space. 

Wanda and Steve were both in the kitchen, and when they saw me they stopped the quiet conversation they were having. “Good morning” I greeted them tentatively. Wanda smiled reassuringly and gave me a warm hug. 

“Did you sleep okay?” Steve asked, concern written across his face. 

“I did, thanks to Wanda here.” 

Steve smiled, a tight smile that was obviously forced. He was upset, I could tell. I considered attempting a peek to see what had him so on edge, but decided against that. I wouldn’t want someone poking around in my head, so I wouldn’t do it to him. “What is it?” I pressed on. “I saw the news this morning, the incident in Brooklyn? It was my building. Is that where you went?”

Steve uncrossed his arms and shifted his weight apprehensively and Wanda reassuringly put a hand on his arm. “Let’s sit down, we need to talk” Steve answered as the three of us gathered around the end of the table, with Steve at the end and Wanda and I on either side of him. “We apprehended Rumlow and Ward” he began. “The two of them weren’t at your building, however we had reason to believe Hydra had been in the area. Tony suggested we pick up your electronics for additional information that could lead us to the division that abducted you. That’s when we found their techs. They were almost done wiring your place when we got there.”

“Wiring?” I asked. “As in spying on me?”

“No” he said, his gaze dropping and becoming more serious. “as in explosives.” He met my eyes and patiently waited as I tried to absorb what he told me. “They found out you were still alive. They have an idea you’re here with us- but we’ll protect you, I promise.”

My hands felt numb and my thoughts raced along with my heart pounding in my chest. ‘Nothing will happen to you, you’re safe here’ Wanda echoed Steve. 

“I can’t just stay here the rest of my life! What about my job? My place?” I asked. I felt out of control and that wasn’t something I could get used to.

“Hey, hey Mother Earth, calm down. You’re welcome here. In fact after what I saw yesterday I think our Cap here will be more than happy to train you” Tony quipped, “if you want to join our little freakshow that is.” He joined you at the table, snacking on a bag of something. “Want some?” he offered.

I smiled, remembering the feeling from the night before with the new abilities. “They’ll regret ever finding me in the first place” I declared ruefully as I grabbed a handful of blueberries from Tony’s bag. Steve smiled, curiosity glimmering in his baby blue eyes.

“Oh, and we picked up your goodies after kicking ass last night” Tony added before he left.

Ch. 9  
Later that day the Avengers assembled in the new B.A.R.F. enabled training room. After I had been introduced to the rest of the team, Tony explained the silly acronym to me. It was put in place to allow the team to re-enact previous battles and learn from weaknesses in their combat strategy. Steve thought it would be a safe environment for my test-run that would also allow the rest of them to evaluate what happened outside with Wanda the previous evening.

The simulation began back in the medical wing after I blacked out with Steve. Wanda was next to my bed when I awakened. “Wanda” I smiled, her presence was calming even in the simulator. Then the memories flooded back. Tears burned in my eyes and I felt the horrific sense of panic, reliving memories of being drugged, beaten, choked and raped, seeing the faces of the men who I now knew were Ward and Rumlow. Wanda reached out and took my hand. I felt the adrenaline, and had to move. “I’m sorry Wanda, I have to get some air.”

I headed into the fresh breeze, letting it blow my hair behind me, felt the cleansing air. I imagined the fear and filth blowing off of me with it. I stopped short and shut my eyes tight, raising my chin up and took a deep breath. 

My body instantly felt lighter, more free and I had a precious sense of relief as the wind caressed my cheeks. Everyone got to see the golden rays that swept over my skin, how after realizing I was flying, I controlled the height, speed and motion of my body, and how I drew energy from the ground after Wanda and I landed.

“Bravo!” Tony clapped. “Though I enjoyed the encore presentation I’m curious to see what you can do about moving other things.”

“Tony, let’s not get ahead of ourselves” Steve warned. “She’s been through a lot.”

“He’s right, Steve. We’re in the perfect place for it. I can’t hurt anyone” I agreed, and then to Tony, “Can you change a memory? Like change the outcome of a fight, or even add- clothes or something- to me?” I asked. 

Steve seemed to know where I was heading with my questions. “No, that’s not a good idea” he insisted. “You don’t ever have to go through that again.”

“But Steve” I implored. “If I can change the outcome, if I can fight back, maybe I won’t feel so fucking broken!” I took a breath, leaning back against the wall, my head down. “I can do it, Steve. Please” I begged into his soft blue eyes. 

He met my gaze. ‘I don’t want you to ever have to go through it again’ I heard him think. 

‘But I do, every time I try to sleep, every time I close my eyes. If I can change it, fight back, something- then maybe I’ll be able to heal’ I answered silently.

“Everyone out” he ordered. “Tony and Wanda, please stay. Tony, you need to make some modifications for her, and Wanda, can you connect with her through this?”

“I can” she nodded. 

Tony modified the program to cover me with a simple tank and pants, which I thanked him for. I didn’t want anyone to see me completely beaten, bloodied and exposed, not again. Steve had already lived through that memory with me once, on top of finding me in the park that way but Tony hadn’t seen it, nor had Wanda and it wasn’t something I wanted to share. In order to be able to do this, I needed as much control over the environment as possible.

The three of them stood outside the simulator, all sharing the same uneasy expression. I nodded to Tony, and the holographic room changed. 

I was in the cold dark room and I felt a sheet tangled around my legs. The adrenaline spike from my panic caused burning pain to shoot throughout my body in torturous waves. My throat was swollen and my neck was tender. My lip throbbed and stung. When I ran my tongue over the painful spot I tasted blood and realized it had been split open. The skin around my wrists burned and the pain between my legs caused horrific images to flood my memory. 

Weight shifted on the bed next to me. It wasn’t my bed, I wasn’t at my house and I wasn’t alone. A pleading “No!” escaped my throat in terror as I curled into myself, shaking and horrified. Again, a hand clenched my upper arm, pulling me back over to face the man. He knelt down and pressed his weight onto the hand covering my throat. My eyes bulged, tears burning hot in them as I silently tried to free myself from his grasp. I couldn’t breathe and the paralyzing panic returned. 

“Ssh… be a good girl, no noise” Richard- no, Ward hissed and I shut my eyes tightly. I remembered this was a simulation, that I was different now, and I didn’t have let the memory control me. I took a deep breath and when I opened my eyes, I was glowing in golden waves. His hand that covered my neck sank right through my body and I rose above him. Hovering off the bed, I used my will to to throw him across the room and he crashed down after breaking part of the drywall. He rose to attack me and the sheet that had been wrapped around my leg now wrapped around his throat. I tightened it, choking the life out of him, watching as his eyes went blank in front of me until he slumped to the floor. 

The other man, Rumlow, attacked me from behind. Rough arms wrapped around my neck, squeezing until I did the same as before and his arms slipped right through me. He was unable to grab purchase around me when I was like this. I spun and held out my hands, bringing his throat into my grip and squeezed, my eyes glowing brighter. I squeezed and squeezed until he stopped moving, a limp mass between my hands, and dropped him to the ground. 

I took a moment and looked around the room that I had been held captive in. I grabbed the phone that had been used to take pictures of my attack and squeezed it in my glowing hand until it cracked into pieces. I heard the two men rising from the ground. I turned and saw them ready to attack. 

“No!” I screamed and they burned into bright light before vaporizing. I sunk to the ground, exhausted and shaking. 

Everything around me dissolved and l I saw Steve, Tony and Wanda rushing to me. “Y/N!” Steve said as he reached me, lifting me off the floor and cradling me in his arms. “Y/N, it’s Steve, I’m here” he assured me. 

‘It’s us, do you remember?’ Wanda asked silently. I looked down, Wanda’s calming face, Tony’s mouth gaping open in shock and holding me was Steve. His warm, strong arms wrapped protectively around me. I looked up into the baby blue eyes, the ones that had found me, had allowed me to poke around in his head when I didn’t even know I could, the same eyes that had been there to protect me now. 

“You’re okay, you’re safe, Ceartas” he soothed as I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in the scent of his skin, clinging to his warmth and finally, finally feeling a little less broken.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you feel the reader's relief at finally discovering her abilities and destroying those who sought to destroy her. Force and abuse are always wrong. Don't stay silent, if you've experienced violence tell someone, even if you've shoved it back down for years like me. Writing this fic helped me come to terms with the bad things I've gone through, and I hope it can help someone else.


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